How to Overcome Abuse
How did I get here? I know I asked myself that question way too many times. No one plans on being abused. No one wakes up one day and says, "I think I'll get into an abusive relationship". As you know, abuse starts out as the exact opposite. Your abuser put on his best and pretended to be someone he was not. You fell in love with the person he pretended to be, and now you're hoping that the man you met is still in there somewhere.
I get it! I've been there too. You're not alone. What you must understand if you are ever to be free from abuse is that the man you met isn't coming back because he never existed. I know it's not what you want to hear, but I'm not here to sell you fantasies. I'm here to help you get free. Despite the fact the the you believe your abuser is still a "good" man, doesn't negate the reality that this supposed good man like to abuse you. Good men don't hurt their women, they protect them. If your serious about overcoming abuse you have to do these three things:
1) Be honest with yourself!
2) Get serious about your situation!
3) Find resources to help you get out!
1) Being honest with yourself is not always easy. It usually easier for others to see the reality of our situation than it is for the one experiencing it, this is why you can look at another situation and give them advice with little effort. What you must do is look at your situation from the outside in. Pretend that a good friend is in your situation. What advice would you give her? What do you think she should do? Once you remove the emotions from your choices, you will find it easier to see and make decisions clearly.
2) Get serious! You are being abused. You life could be in danger. It's important that you don't underestimate the gravity of the abuse your suffering. If you're being physically abuse you are in more immediate danger. You may be in a place where you're so beaten down that you've given up and don't care about your survival, but if you don't care who will. Think of your loved ones; your family, your children, and your friends. You're life is important. You are important. You deserve to live. You deserve to smile. You deserve to be happy. You deserve REAL love!
3) Find resources! Only you can decide when enough is enough, and until you do you will continue to accept abuse. If you really want to get out there are resources and support out there. It won't be comfortable and it may not be pretty, but it's only temporary. You must be willing to overcome temporary discomfort to get to lasting peace. I understand that some victims have been threatened with death if they leave. My ex threatened to kill me if I ever took away his children, so I stayed, until I was forced to leave.
If you're in this type of situation I encourage you to anonymously reach out to a domestic violence hotline or shelter and ask for help, they have people there who will help you craft a safety plan. It may take multiple attempts, but don't ever give up. You are a warrior. You are a queen. You can do this.
Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
www.thehotline.org (Domestic Violence Website)
Text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474 (if you're unable to speak)